Craigslister, Craigslist Thyself.

This is nitpicky, but when you are selling nitpicking, close up those parantheses, Sharp Eyes.

• Writing/Editing Help - Grammar is my forte.
  
  Hello,
  I am offering my stellar writing and editing skills to those in need!
  
  If you are a student, struggling to piece together a coherent paper, I can help! If your grammar or spelling is subpar, and you need a set of sharp eyes to fix all your semantic blunders, I am your gal!
  
  I charge $15-25/hr, depending on the extent of the job. If you are a "starving student" we may be able to strike a deal.
  
  What I will not do:
  - Write your paper for you
  - Correct factual inaccuracies (e.g. "Oregon State is located on the Atlantic Coast."
  
  Contact me for a quote!
  
  

CORRECTION

It was NOT Tofurky Day, as I previously indicated below. It was To-Quorn Day or Quornkey Day or whatever. Actually not an un-tasty fake meat, although the facts from this Slate article I read months before were still sort of hazily floating around in my head as I ate it, making me feel slightly on edge throughout the dinner. Still on the fence about it.

Anyway, just wanted to be sure that all three Readers had a completely accurate understanding of what my Thanksgiving entailed. The cornbread pudding KILLED.