Unexpected Consequence of a Bad Economy

People are actually not outright hostile to a call from someone who wants to talk to them about a job.

I never got that: YOU put your resume online, indicating that you would be interested in considering a new role. Why are you mad that I am calling you about one?

Even if the role I call you about is a little different than what you are looking for, a) isn't it nice to know you have options and b) seriously what the hell is your problem?

"No, thank you, but I appreciate the call." Eight words, probably what, three seconds? Lord love a duck, unless you just got the diagnosis and you only have four seconds to live, chill out already.

Anyway. So that was the world I used to live in when I was last recruiting like this. It seems to be a whole different ballgame and I, for one, am not complaining at all.

I will, Candidate, I will savor it like a fine wine.

From resume headline:

"Please take your time reading my resume."

No you're not.

From resume headline:

"I'M THE CANIDATE YOUR LOOKING FOR."

And if you can't see why, that's why.

'America's Next Top Model' has had eleven cycles...

...and even being seventeen years old is no excuse for having the idea that you can get a job as a model by posting a resume (you know, something that consists of TEXT not PICTURES) on a major job board.

"I'm seventeen years old and a senior in high school. I'm very determined and interested in becoming a model. I don't have experience in the modeling field, however, I am willing to go the extra mile to fulfill my dream. "

Well, go the extra mile and actually do what it takes to fulfill your dreams, like:

1. TAKE A PHOTOGRAPH.
2. Put photographs in a place where people who hire models might see them.
3. And so on.

However, one thing that you should NOT learn from America's Next Top Model is the idea that being "determined and interested in becoming a model" = becoming a model. While that show does include "Wanting It the Most" as a pre-qualification for becoming a regular fashion model, it's probably slightly more important to be a genetic anomaly who is tall, thin, freakishly symmetrical, small-featured, and, you know, generally considered beautiful.

Then again, what do I know? Maybe posting a resume is the secret backdoor to the fashion industry that they've never mentioned in the twenty years of Vogue I've read.

I'm sorry he filed for divorce...

...but can you stop yelling at me about it on your resume? (Details changed to protect the screamy.)

"I WAS MARRIED TO THE DR AND I ASSISTED HIM WITH OPENING HIS PRACTICE AND WORKING WITH HIM. HE FILED FOR A DIVORCE AND HE ENDED MY JOB. I HAVE BEEN AN RN SINCE 1975 AND WORKED IN PRE-NATAL FOR 17 YEARS. I ALSO, ASSISTED MY HUSBAND FOR 8 YEARS. I THEN WORKED IN A CLINIC FOR SEVERAL PHYSICIANS FOR 3 YEARS BEFORE HE OPENED HIS PRESENT MEDICAL PRACTICE IN [redacted, also shrieked] IN WHICH I WORKED UNTIL HE FILED FOR A DIVORCE."

I was trying to stay positive...

...but they won't behave.