Monday, January 19, 2009

In 2009, there is no excuse...

...for faxing a resume with no email address on it. There was no excuse for it in 2006 or 2001 for that matter. Email is free and you can access the internet at the library.

I know this isn't a particularly funny post, Reader, but that just shows you the depth of my outrage.

I've spent all day phone screening candidates who can't answer a yes or no question without giving me their life story, correcting the errors of supposed support people who can't read written instructions and crafting diplomatic emails to said support people to ask THEM what I can do to make it easier for them to read written instructions.

So when I get to your resume, Antiquated Candidate, in my EMAIL inbox (because I haven't had a physical fax in over five years, my fax comes to my EMAIL goddammit because I live in THE PRESENT), and want to send you a note because it's already 7:45pm and I don't want to call and get caught up in another gratuitous phone conversation as I still have HOURS of work to do, I can't. I can't send you an email.

So guess what's going to happen? Tomorrow I'm going to be busy phone screening candidates with whom I was able to arrange VIA EMAIL a mutually-convenient time to speak. Then I'm going to be answering manager questions, handling background checks, correcting "support" staff mistakes and all of the other painful and innumerable details of this job. And by the time I get around to reaching out to new candidates, guess what? It's going to be 6pm or 7pm or 1am. And I'm going to contact the people who have emails.

Repeat this until I claw my way into another career and you'll see how soon I get to contacting you.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

I already had a headache before I picked up the phone.

Me, at beginning of scheduled phone screen: "Thank you, Candidate, for setting up this time to speak with me today."
Candidate: "Actually, we set up the time yesterday."
Me: (speechless as head throbs)

Outsourcing '09

I'm busy, I'll have Fresh do the post today.

Monday, January 12, 2009

There's something kind of weirdly poetic about this...

...the repetition of the phrase "To await for next shipment" seems somehow wistful and melancholy in the midst of all of the oily talk.

But I don't know if you can call it an actual resume, which is how it was submitted to me.

Daily stock inventories for minimum and maximum refills, Receiving local vendor orders stocking products in their location and maintaining reports of received items and prices. Dispensing fuel, Unleaded to Company trucks, Diesel for Dock usage. Butane tanks for Warehouse lift, recording each department and their usage of the Stock Room product for later refrence, Receiving vedor at the Receiving/ Shipping Location referring to the Purchase Order for quantitiy and prices and which department the order goes to. Always making a separate file for local vendors and Off Island vendors on B/Orders. To await for next shipment. Entering products and location in the MP2 system for later inventories. Loading Diesel to tanks and Unleaded fuel. Keeping the Oil Storage stocked and inventory on the reorder status, Dispensing fuel to the Maintenance Worker, all the dispensing materials must have a requisition form filled out by Supervisor or Manager and signed before giving out such products. Each department has a code or account for their usage, Its important to keep record of the Requisition Order form Daily. Daily stock inventories for minimum and maximum refills, Receiving local vendor orders stocking products in their location and maintaining reports of received items and prices. Dispensing fuel, Unleaded to Company trucks, Diesel for Dock usage. Butane tanks for Warehouse lift, recording each department and their usage of the Stock Room product for later refrence, Receiving vedor at the Receiving/ Shipping Location referring to the Purchase Order for quantitiy and prices and which department the order goes to. Always making a separate file for local vendors and Off Island vendors on B/Orders. To await for next shipment. Entering products and location in the MP2 system for later inventories. Loading Diesel to tanks and Unleaded fuel. Keeping the Oil Storage stocked and inventory on the reorder status, Dispensing fuel to the Maintenance Worker, all the dispensing materials must have a requistion form filled out by Supervisor or Manager and signed before giving out such products. Each department has a code or account for their usage, Its important to keep record of the Requistion Order form Daily.