In 2009, there is no excuse...

...for faxing a resume with no email address on it. There was no excuse for it in 2006 or 2001 for that matter. Email is free and you can access the internet at the library.

I know this isn't a particularly funny post, Reader, but that just shows you the depth of my outrage.

I've spent all day phone screening candidates who can't answer a yes or no question without giving me their life story, correcting the errors of supposed support people who can't read written instructions and crafting diplomatic emails to said support people to ask THEM what I can do to make it easier for them to read written instructions.

So when I get to your resume, Antiquated Candidate, in my EMAIL inbox (because I haven't had a physical fax in over five years, my fax comes to my EMAIL goddammit because I live in THE PRESENT), and want to send you a note because it's already 7:45pm and I don't want to call and get caught up in another gratuitous phone conversation as I still have HOURS of work to do, I can't. I can't send you an email.

So guess what's going to happen? Tomorrow I'm going to be busy phone screening candidates with whom I was able to arrange VIA EMAIL a mutually-convenient time to speak. Then I'm going to be answering manager questions, handling background checks, correcting "support" staff mistakes and all of the other painful and innumerable details of this job. And by the time I get around to reaching out to new candidates, guess what? It's going to be 6pm or 7pm or 1am. And I'm going to contact the people who have emails.

Repeat this until I claw my way into another career and you'll see how soon I get to contacting you.

Recruiter, Heal Thyself Some More

Received an e-mail today from a recruiting company much like my very own. My resume is kind of confidentially lolly-gagging out on some job boards, just to see what else might be out there.

So it is the sort of usual e-mail that I send out to candidates, but unlike the ones I send out to candidates, this recruiter doesn't bother to hide his/her contempt for her audience:

"1. Click the link in this sentence to send your resume in Microsoft Word (.doc not .rtf) format (attach it, do not copy and paste into the email) with all contact info to IThinkAllCandidatesAreIdiotsWhoMustBeSpokenToLikeSixYearOlds- AlsoTheWord"Please"IsForPussies@NamelessRecruitingCompany.com.

2. Copy and paste the title and reference number into the subject box.
Then type your current salary and minimum salary requirement next to the reference number.
Do not send a range.
Must be an exact number. Please [oops, okay, there was a "please" in there, but still.] send the very minimum that you will accept "down to the penny." This is how the subject must look, see example below:Sr. Recruiter current: $ "current pay"/hr, minimum: $ "minimum accepted pay"/hr
3. On your resume, give the best time and telephone number to reach you."

I know I always feel like I am being recruited for a company that values me as an individual and not just as a widget when I have to put my salary requirements "down to the penny" in the SUBJECT HEADER of the e-mail.

Jesus Christ I know we DON'T care about people but lord can't we pretend that we'll at least read an e-mail response instead of making it clear that we'll just delete it unopened if it's a penny over what we can pay?

TACKY.