"Obsessive grammarian seeks position as proofreader, writer, or editor."

Thus spake the resume headline and the resume itself was refreshingly - and appropriately - completely free of typos or mangled language.

Candidate, I wish I had a job to give you. I would like to make you Manager of the World. Because if there is one thing that makes the gnarled little knot of coal in my chest almost beat like a normal human heart, it is an obsessive grammarian.

Why don't you marry it?

You would think that something as dry and resolutely un-sexy as a major corporation wouldn't have a stalker.

And you would be wrong.

I have this candidate who applies to EVERY SINGLE JOB this company posts in the Midwest. It doesn't matter what the function, duties or level are. It doesn't matter how little, if at all, his background matches up with the job.

Director of Finance? APPLY. Customer Service Rep? APPLY. Internal Network Programmer? APPLY. Human Resource Generalist? APPLY.

Over 2500 jobs in the past two years. It takes like four minutes to pull up his online file it's so big.

So I lean towards Diagnosis: BATSHIT CRAZY. But then again I wonder if he might just be litigious and is running some sort of extended scam, figuring at some point he will have to catch someone in some kind of compliance slip-up and he can sue.

But I sort of like the Batshit Crazy option, mainly because I just like Batshit Crazy as a concept and a phrase, and I also like the idea that this dude falls asleep under a ceiling and between walls plastered with the company logo. And that when he is waiting in line at the unemployment office, he idly doodles "I (Heart) Big Nameless Corporation" on the denim binder or Trapper Keeper in which he keeps his paper work.