Although it is the holidays and I shouldn't be a-complainin', what with peace and love and all that, I haven't had a recruiting-related post in a few days and I feel itchy to get back on topic otherwise I might start talking about like dating or my new favorite hair-dryer or something.
So instead, I have to report that I have noticed that one particular variety of shaved monkey has once again distinguished itself.
I've already singled out the ladies, now it's time for the fellas, namely some of the older fellas. (By older, I mean, of course, older than me. Going by the dates on their resumes, I'm thinking a lot of these dudes are over 45.) I am seeing a trend of late with many of you. (And of course it goes without saying that it's not ALL of the older dudes, so if you are not guilty of the below, please don't get your knickers in a knot about it.)
Anyway, to the Older Gentlemen Who ARE Guilty of It? Let me finish my sentence.
These are the conversations I've been having with far too many of you all lately:
ME: This position is located in Upyerbutt, AR. Are you open to reloca...
YOU: Yes, my wife and I plan to relocate there.
ME: And what are your salary requir...
YOU: I'm looking for a $100K.
ME: And if an offer is extended, how soon would you...
YOU: Two weeks.
Look, I know I sound about all of thirteen on the phone, but I am not thirteen, and even if I were thirteen, why the hell shouldn't a thirteen-year-old be permitted to speak a sentence uninterrupted to its punctuation mark?
I realize my questions are quite predictable, but guess what else they are? Brief. I'm adding absolutely no extraneous comments, chit chat, falderol, etc. So just wait a nanosecond, let me take them to their natural conclusion, and when words have ceased to come from my mouth, that means it is YOUR turn to talk and present an answer. It's called courtesy.
You are all on notice. Moving forward, I will not be stopping. You can attempt to interrupt me, but if I am no longer going to stop talking just because you've decided it's my time to shut up. If I start a question, I'm going to finish the question, and talk right the f over you so you might as well let me do it. Consider yourself warned.