Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Actual Unfortunate Names: NSFW Blind Item Guessing Game

So the other day, my friend President of the Debate Club paid a visit to the blog to test my logic. She found it failing on at least one post, but luckily I won the round by default because I think she will be too busy/disinterested to revisit the blog again to rebut.

After the visit, she let me know that she passed along some of the gems to her husband and co-workers, who, she informed me, all had the same reaction:

"How does she write that and not get fired?"

Ummmm.

Gulp?

So like, I mean, um, yeah, I know but.

Like there are a gajillion blogs out there?
And my real name is nowhere on it?
And I change all the relevant details?

But so suddenly I wonder if this is a much riskier endeavor than I was really thinking.

Which makes what I am about to do even more DAREDEVILISH and LIVING-ON-THE-EDGE-ISH! Those of you with a delicate constitution: LOOK AWAY NOW!

So I phone screened a candidate recently with really one of THE most unfortunate Actual Unfortunate Names I have come across.

I can't actually post it, but I will give some clues and you can guess, either quietly in your head, or DARINGLY in the comments! I might chicken out and delete the comments that get too close to the right name but I will alert the winner otherwise if you link to your own blog.

What do you win?

SMUG SELF-SATISFACTION. At least TEN MINUTES of feeling VERY PLEASED WITH YOURSELF.

So here are the clues:

1) The first name is nickname that is a synonym for a slang term for a girl part. However! This very self-same nickname can - although not as commonly - ALSO be used as a slang term for a girl part.
2) The last name is...just flat out a slang term for a girl part.

What I found so fascinating is: if your last name is ALREADY something that is going to make middle school very very difficult...why oh why would your parents also saddle you with the double whammy of a nearly equally unfortunate nickname?

So NSFW guess away, Readers!

P.S. Gay Husband? You are not eligible for the prize because we just talked about this person today, but I'm happy to discuss other possible ways for you to have at least ten minutes of smug self-satisfaction.

10 comments:

AngryMan said...

Delores Booty? Hootie McBoob? Tits McGee? I can only think of Delores b/c of that stupid Seinfeld episode. Maybe the girl's name is actually Mulva.

The Mad Tatter said...

I love Tits McGee! That's hilarious, but how about Gina Cooter or Pie Vajayjay?

Ill-Suit said...

Pie Vajayjay makes me want to run out, get a sex change to become a man, then immediately turn around to become a drag queen and THAT will be my drag name. I will exclusively lip sync the Britney Spears oeuvre.

Hootie McBoob is running a close second. I feel like the drag performance that goes along with that one should focus on Appalachian music. Like the evening could be called, "Down from These Twin Mountains."

But wrong, all wrong (although feel free to be smugly self-satisfied anyway for excellent drag name generation!). Which I am sort of relieved by because I am just increasingly nervous about this blog in general and this post in particular. (*wipes perspiration from forehead*) Phew!

WordVixen said...

I'm thinking that it almost has to be Clitty something. I've actually heard of people named that. (Although Kitty as it's slang for another slang word, could work)

So I'm voting for Clitty/Kitty Vulva!

Ill-Suit said...

Clitty Vulva!!!!! (*collapsing*)

So....many...drag..names...wishing so hard...I were a dude...

But no.

Although...I was made slightly nervous by something in WordVixen's comments.

WordVixen said...

I'm very glad I posted then! *must think of last names*

WordVixen said...

Kitty Hymen! I swear I've heard of people with that last name! :)

Btw- I couldn't resist. If you check my name link (to my blog), you'll see a cheesy tabloid blog involving the first name I guessed. I didn't link back here due to the sensitive nature of your post- but I'd love to if you don't mind.

The Mad Tatter said...

Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty!!!

Ill-Suit said...

You are all making me nervous!!

WordVixen, I checked out your funny post and I tried to register so I could leave you a comment but never got the log on e-mail, got distracted, blah blah blah. Anyway in blog time that was about six years ago that you posted that so it's really probably relevant any longer, but feel free to post a link back. Thank you for asking - I appreciate it!

WordVixen said...

Thanks, very much! I wanted to give credit (or blame?) where it's due. After all, that post came directly from this post and comments.

I'm still trying to think of something to use Hootie McBoob and Tits McGee in.