Cubicle Death Match

From cover letter:

"At 51 years old, I have had many varied experiences that I feel would benefit any employer...I freely admit that I may be a little rusty, but, that would in no way be a detriment. It fact, it would cause me to focus more on what needs to be done. And, in this day and age, with our 'I want it now!' attitudes, I feel more people could use a little more focus."

I say why bother interviewing? Let's pit this dude against Ice Floe and who ever comes out alive gets the gig.