Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Actual Unfortunate Names, Episode Two

The names off some recent resumes have me a little puzzled.

Q: Why would you name your child either Lucifer or Little?

My Only A: Because you didn't want to have a child and you resent him for existing?

I mean, for reals. Why would you do that? Apple and Moses Paltrow-Martin would hear these names and run and kiss their parents for not being THAT cruel.

Poor little Lucifer better learn how to fight - and quick.

And poor little Little...well, he needs to learn how to fight, too, but he also better hope against hope that he grows up to be 6 foot plus, 250 lbs of muscle and...um...well, otherwise not-so-little, if you know what I mean, wink wink nudge nudge. Or else I see a lifetime of reeeeaaaalllllly ugly break-ups in his future, as the future ex-girlfriends already have a head start on nasty parting comments.

2 comments:

The Mad Tatter said...

You think "Lucifer" and "Little" are bad? I know of a young man (7 years old) by the name of Handsomestranger. Yes. Handsomestranger. It begs the question: Was he named for his father?

Ill-Suit said...

Holy jesus! We have a winner!